Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
