he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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