Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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