look no pants
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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