Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
