I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
