Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
