Fuck appropriateness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
