girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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