i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
