just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
