ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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