Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
