i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
