there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
