if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
