I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize