It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
