Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
