Kareoke will never be a sober sport
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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