She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
