If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Congratulations! We have a period
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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