Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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