i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
