he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
being pregnant is like rehab
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
