Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
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