he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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