my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
