dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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