Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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