um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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