We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
