Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
