i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
