Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize