On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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