so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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