Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
