But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
