thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she woke up with a sticky ear
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
