she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
