Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she told me i tasted like america
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
