That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
