How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
