Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
