I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize