dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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