Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
