physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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