um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
