He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
