Buhtt sex?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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