Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize