Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
