I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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