I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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