And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
