yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
