You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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