dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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