Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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