There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize