Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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