Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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