Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
