So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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