"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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