I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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