How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
