Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
