This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
