she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i out mim tonsoeep
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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