Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
