i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
