GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your penis caused this!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
